Long Distance Relationships?
One of my fab readers from twitter named @ImpassionedRiot wanted me to touch base on long distance relationship. I can’t front it has been years since I’ve been in one. Between the age of sixteen and eighteen I would always date men that lived in different states. I was addicted to having a man that didn’t grow up down the street from me. The men I lived around wasn’t feeling me anyways lol. The first long distance relationship I ever got in was with my girls’ cousin that lived in New York. It was good while it lasted but the distance and loneliness took a toll.
We use to hop on the Greyhound bus as much as we could to leave Maryland and go to New York (which is why we eventually moved there). The best part about being in a long distance relationship to me was the fact that the newness never left. There was never really any room to fight with him because we wanted to value our time together. The problems came when I had to go back to Maryland. The stress of us being in two different states was difficult. When I was that age I didn’t trust anything he was doing because I wasn’t there to wittiness and confirm the things he was telling. The assumptions began to wear and tear on our relationship. I think this happens with a lot of long distance relationships. You assume they’re doing dirt behind your back when they aren’t. It can be very conflicting. I wasn’t mature enough to handle it anyways. I didn’t know how important trust was.
I feel like long distance relationship can work in today’s day and age. People are willing to go the extra mile to find the perfect mate. Sticking to finding a guy in your home state is a thing of the past. Ladies are wiling to look all over the planet for a man that can relate to them. People have even accepted dating websites like Match.com to find “the one”. I feel like the reason people consider long distance relationship is because they can see the “American Dream” fading into the background. Most people feel empty without a husband or children. When you feel like you got the right one keep the relationship right. If you trust your partner there should never be any room for assumptions. A lot of folks today do a lot of half ass trusting. They trust you when it’s convenient for them. It doesn’t matter if he sleeps next to you every night or lives in Europe… trust is important. I feel like if you have trust then it doesn’t matter where your mate lives.
What would make you want to be in a long distance relationship?
I love this! I'be only been doing the long distance thing for about 5 months but It's been quite a challenge because we lived in the same city prior to him moving. Trust isn't the issue so much as the strain of an already stressed relationship then to add distance..we'll make it though. Thanks girl for the post!
ReplyDeleteRight now....I don't think I'd wanna get into another long distant relationship unless the person I was involved with was willing to make it work.
ReplyDeleteI've done it twice already and it was good both times, but like you said G, the assumptions and trust issues will break down even the best. Both parties must have one goal in mind (to someday move to the same state, or whatever) before embarking on such relationship. If one or both know the will never change their lives for the next, then a relationship shouldn't even be considered.
@DjJaro876