If I had a Dick

I have been asked by fellow Core DJ and cereal eater DJ Heat to writer a column on if I had a dick. Of course why not! The Fab Five always said that I have a man’s mentality (I really do). So after careful consideration I have determined the following. This will be narrated by the male in me lmao.

First off my dick game leaves bitches senseless. They say they love me but they really love my dick. I be having chicks sucking their thumb after I hit it. What’s the point of getting to know their name when they let me learn their panties name first? It’s to the point that all I have to do is flash something pretty and these chicks fall to their knees. This shit is so easy! Chicks will be lucky to know anything about me. Now and days your last name is not required for you to get some pussy. Owing materialistic items talks louder than I ever could. I feed these silly chicks ear candy and they become little puppets that I can control. Sometimes I yearn for a woman that is about her business, but chicks in the DMV want to take the easy route. These hoes will do anything to land a rich nigga. The days of have a strong educated sista is almost non-existed. Everyone has a fucking agenda! Women are more focus on their image. What I would look like around their arm. My paper is long and these hoes want to floss that. What the hell do I look like…Bank of America? Man I’m always going thru it. The last time I was in a relationship my chick slept with my home boy. She thought she was upgrading smh. Beyonce must’ve pumped her ass up. Then this hoe had the nerve to come back crying for a second chance. I told that bitch to kick rocks. I waste them then replace them!


My man knocked his “chick” up. I told that nigga to get a DNA test. I knew she was a bopper. He did and the seed wasn’t even his. Nasty bitches! Hell I believe in every dude getting a DNA test. I don’t give a fuck how a chick feels about it. If you ain’t got shit to hide then what are you mad for? I can’t have kids. Yep I went and got snipped. Do you know I’ve had over 10 chicks tell me that they were pregnant by me? This is that reckless bullshit I’m talking about! I don’t trust these hoes. It’s hard to find a good woman because hoes have taken over most of the population. It doesn’t make any sense. I stay swag the fuck up and will bust off on any chicks face (maybe even your chick). They think that shit is going to make them wifey lol. Boy are they some fuckin suckas! No nigga wants a chick that is not even on his level. That looking pretty shit fades. What can you help me out with when your titties are dragging on the floor? If your answer is “I don’t know” then you will always be just a fuck to me. Point blank period!