Truth Within

One of the hardest things you will ever have to do is talk to the person who raised you. They are the one’s that see how you started it and what you’ve become. In my case that person is my mother. This morning I got a dose of reality from her about who I was becoming. She said that Aries is a good man and she can see that he is in love with me a lot. I also see that and can feel that. Then she went on to say that I have change a lot because of what I had experience in my first two relationships. She is afraid that I am becoming “Hard” inside. This is the last thing I want to happen! Then she said something that I will never forget because it was true, “Once a woman is physically abused by a man she changes and not for the better. She keeps her guards up because she is afraid that it will happen again.”


She is totally right. It’s hard for me to believe that a relationship is not going to completely flip on me. It may not flip to physical abuse but it can flip to cheating, lying, etc. As bad as I don’t want to drag the baggage, some of it is apart of me to a certain degree. The scar on my back is a daily reminder every time I get dress. To be honest I’m just to the point where I don’t want to remember pain. I’ve managed to block negativity out of my life. It is just something I don’t have time for. All it has ever been to me is an energy drainer! My mother said, “The worse thing you can do is loose yourself because of a man immaturities.”

I don’t want to loose out on a good thing. Especially since I feel like I’ve come SO FAR from dealing with the bullshit. I want to build new memories that I will enjoy looking back on. I owe this to myself and the people who love me.