Yep I said it

This is how I feel today.


Everyday I loose faith in people. You might think that is ridiculous but it is true. A lot of people have trouble holding on to their word. Taking someone word seriously is a major flop to me. I guess it stems back to my childhood, waiting by the front door for a “father” that would never show up. Trust me I use to be a lot more hopefully. I know it is somewhere in me but I gotta tell you that 98% is use to a bunch of let downs. That is what most of my life consist of. For me action has always spoken louder than words. I feel like if you wanted to do it you would have made it happen. It’s really that simple ladies and gentlemen! I know I’m not the only one tired of hearing muthafuckas talk ALL DAY LONG! I’m more into see results.


This is why I am strengthening my faith more. I rather put all my faith in God than to put it into people. When you have a bond with God you don’t need anything else. So instead of me worry about other people’s “Why’s” I am going to focus on why I let certain stuff bother me. I need to stop getting irritated over thing I have no control over. It is all about the people you surround yourself with. I can count on one hand the people that would drop everything if I ever need them. I am very grateful for them. Anytime I have a problem they are always honest with me. I never feel like they're rushing to get to the next subject. They sincerely care about what I’m feeling.

I know you may not believe this but I bite my tongue a whole lot. I’m always ready to go in on people but my strength stops me. When I’m pissed off I aim to hurt your feelings. I’m not proud of that but it’s the truth. Since I’ve gotten older I just stop responding to bullshit. Arguing never settles anything in my court because I feel like I’m right most of the time lol. I love to avoid it if I can. I know most women and men love that whole make up sex thing but I rather just have regular happy sex.

The more I realize what I want the more I want to scream. The world that I believe in just doesn’t existed.