Has Romance Died?
I’ve gone through life trying not to expect a man to be romantic. I enjoy the thought of being surprised rather than being disappointed. I can’t think of one time when I was swept off my feet by a guy. I show myself more romance than a man ever has. I believe my old choice in men had something to do with it. Women tend to always date a lot of no good men when their in their early 20s. I’m not saying everyone does but most of us do. The only good thing that comes from a whole lot of bad relationship (if you’re smart) is you can finally see a good man when he enters your life. Going through the bad is suppose to make you appreciate the good. I understand that more and more everyday. We only get what we allow ourselves to have. Do I think it’s possible for a man to be romantic? Yes I do, but I won’t hold my breath. Men don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying to be Romeo every single day but giving a nice gesture from time to time would help. A woman wants her man to make her feel like a goddess sometimes.
Romance has everything to do with why a woman cheats. We don’t cheat just to have sex with another guy, but because we feel neglected by our spouse. Some men (even us women) got to learn to give most of what we got in ourselves to are spouse. That’s what being in a relationship is all about. I believe that so many of us have lost sight of what being committed really is. People today keep confusing convince with commitment when the two are completely opposite. Convince is when you’re with spouse and happy for a moment. Committing yourself to someone (to me) is a lifetime of happiness. That in itself requires you to be romantic at times. The last thing you want to do is get in the “I expect” mode. Women hate that!
What are your thoughts?
It's actually a shame that you or any woman has to think this way in regards to romance @ "not expecting it." However it's a good way to think about it. Protect yourself from disappointment and at the same time, heighten the effects for if & when it does come.
ReplyDeleteI agree with a good majority of everything you said here. It really doesn't take money to be romantic, just some spontaneous consideration.
I will say, for the women, you gave a really good piece of advice. Treat yourself to a romantic evening. No matter if you're single or not. You deserve to be treated. Fellas if u're not the romantic type, just do the unexpected. Put a note in her bag b4 she leaves, to tell her u're thinking about her or hope she has a good day. Leave a voicemail on her workphone the night b4, as a "welcome to work" message for the morning. Unless u're dealing wit Cleo from "Set It Off," she'll appreciate it and that only benefits you in the long run (if you need a reason that is). Run her a bubble bath in the evening, surprise her with lunch from her favorite spot, without telling her. So many things that can be done... to keep things running smooth and fresh.
Keep that spark there...
I was fortunate enough not to have dated too many low life's, just one :) Most of mine were very romantic...flowers..notes...massages. I hate flowers, I m not a jewelry person so like you said money doesnt matter. Not to me anyway. Little things are always best. My husband does it naturally:) Not having to cook dinner one night or clean up. Planning a Saturday get away or a foot massage after work. On the flip I'm pretty darn romantic myself so guys can have a romantic girl as well...
ReplyDeleteladies shivery is not dead! but only about 3% of men today are shiverist.b/c opening a door,pulling out a chiar,a gentle kiss hello on the cheek,a kiss on the back of the neck for no reason,or just a light touch on the hand or arm has still worked for me! so ladies were still out here just keep the faith that one day we will meet!!
ReplyDeleteMe being a man I relize that I was guilty of leting romance die... but after realizing that I was young and dumb and grown up now. I stepped up to the plate. I have a lot of love to give and I know how to go about it if I was giving a chance with one I truley love and care for. I write peoms and letters but never get a chance to read them to her. I think of a lot of romantic things that I think will make her heart smile. I also think of her as special woman and care about how her days and nights are. I want to bring her flowers just because she was on my mind that day. Not just because its a holiday. So I guess I'm tryna say that men know how to treat a woman boys haven't grown up enough to know how yet. I can honestly say that I use to be one of those guys but know I am a self made man cause I love someone that much and she deserve the best... :-) GAC
ReplyDeleteGood Column, I think there should be a balance between the partners. Communication is the key. Sometimes as men, we often forget the smaller things that are important to a woman. Not by any fault, its just our focus as a Man, and life has a way of taking the priority. I agree, weekends away are great and can add an additional spark to the relationship, at the end of the day, its all about balance and understanding. Ladies keep in mind, that men love romance as well, let me rephrase that...#REALGROWNMEN So ladies work with us, and allow yourself to be with someone that will be the Ying to your Yang.
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